Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Randomize
