I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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