he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
