He felt like a one man threesome
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
