"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
