Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
