Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
