To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
