i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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