worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
so let's talk penis.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
false alarm, still single
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
