found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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