i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
