idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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