do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
