There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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