We won't sleep together?
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
there is glitter all over my balls
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