i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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