my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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