dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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