Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
false alarm, still single
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