she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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