we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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