as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
