Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize