just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize