how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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