Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
