Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
honey bunches of taint.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
