I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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