the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize