If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
