No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
