we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
