I heard we made out
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Randomize
