so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
