Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
