Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
