Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize