Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
