in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
So much rum. So many feels.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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