No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
