I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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