The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize