you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
