Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
tonight lets celebrate not being married
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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