she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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