Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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