suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
