Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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