You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
