eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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