when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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