he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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