Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
