The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Randomize
