absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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