I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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