who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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