I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
