I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
