shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Houston, we have a blender
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize