Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize