Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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