oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
