Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
