Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
