I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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