singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
