Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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