She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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